A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

What characterizes a good joke? The lack of a punch line.

100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What should you never give to your friends as a wedding present? An old plastic bag full of rubbish.

Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

why did the man reverse time? because his girlfriend died,also this man was super

How does Justin Bieber remove a condom? he farts

Roses are Red, Violets are blue Did you think I'd actually cry over you? I said I loved you You believed it was true Well guess what baby You just got played too! ??????

A blind woman was watching tv. think about it

Q: How could the black man afford to buy a TV? A: He had a well-paying job and a supporting family.

What is stupid and looks like you? You.

Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live on at the bottom.

Your mother's so fat that when she goes through rotating doors, the doors rotate around her.

I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

You are joking right?

Did you ever hear about that rich Mexican?? No. Yeah, me neither.

What does have stripes, give milk and can fly? A zebra, a cow and an eagle.

What is a quicker way to transfer money than electronic banking? Keeping it on one's person and getting mugged for it, or else handing it over in a mutual deal.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

A man goes to the potty.

A knock knock B who's there A nobody

What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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