if you have 2 apples and 3 oranges in one hand, and 4 oranges and 1 apple in the other, what do you have? very large hands.

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Why did Lucy drop her ice-cream ? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who is there ? NOT LUCY !

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Billy Idol walks into a New York City Bar. He snorts lines of coke with his comrades in the bathroom and continues his night by having sex with attractive underage females

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A guy walks up to a midget and he says: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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Ok so 3 guys walk into a bar... the fourth one ran.

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How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

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why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

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Why didn't the man go to work on Friday the 13th? Because he was unemployed.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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My math homework brings all the asians to the yard and their like it wasent that hard and their like it wasent that hard. comment what song it is like.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 3, according to Mr. Owl

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What sound does a dog make? WOOF What sound does a cat make? MEOW What sound does a giraffe make? ...

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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what did batman say to robyn before he got in the car?... "get in the car"

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How did the boy fall off his bike? A fridge was thrown off him

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3 Women were on a desert Island, This Island was situated in the middle of the Atlantic so there was no hope of survival.

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What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

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Q: How many hair styles do celebreties induce annualy? A: I have no clue but I'm pretty sure that's a midget defacing your house!

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What do you call an asian that is black? Please tell me, I was asking a question.

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gabe sucks 8-------------------D~

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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