- Anti Joke

Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

Two men walk into a bar and begin ordering drinks. Both men engage in polite conversation with each other. At the end of the night they each take taxi's home because they realize the potential risk they pose to others if they drive intoxicated.

Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

What was the last thing the boy heard before he was hit by the school bus? Nothing. He was deaf.

how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family!

Why did the squirrel across the river upside down? So it could keep its nuts dry.

Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

what smells like a rose bud? a rose, bud.

What is the best part about having sex with tweny-six year olds. There are twenty of them. ap~pac

An Irishman, a German, a Jew, and a Mexican walk into a bar...... the Irishman is named designated driver and all four have a safe and enjoyable evening.

When life gives you lemons you are like "how did I get these lemons?"

- What's better than just sitting on a couch in a summerhouse with a bottle of wine and reading a good book? - An orgy.

Me: What's the difference between a zebra and a slice of cheese? You: I don't know Me: Me neither

What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

3 men walk into a bar. The 4th one ducks.

whats not funny and has access to a computer and reasonable internet? Me

Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? 15 minutes in the oven.

How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

What did Steven Hawking get for christmas? A bike.

What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.