A man is walking on the beach and notices a shiny brass lamp on the ground. He picks it up, polishes it and then sells it for a reasonable amount of money at a local pawnbroker.

Im 8 years old, sometimes I get sick, and I take medicine and it makes me feel better. My daughter has cancer.

How many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? Pancakes are not a feasible material with which to build a doghouse.

Have you seen stevie wonders new house No Niether has he

why couldnt the jew play basketball? He was handicapp

Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Being caught by the store manager, arrested, convicted, and thrown into jail for petty theft and then getting ass-raped for the next 3 months all because you wanted to check an apple without paying for it.

Q: Why didin't fat billy take the last peace of pie? A: cuz he was not hungry

A child wasn't wearing knee pads when he was skateboarding. He proceeded to fall of his board and break his arm

who would win in a gang battle? WEST COAST SWAG

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

Q: Why did the Asian fail his driving test? A: Lack of concentration on the road and low knowledge of functioning a car.

What's long and hard, and has cum in it? A cucumber

what did the little boy say to his sibling? dat not funny!

What did the frog say to the goat? Nothing frogs can't talk.

A blonde drank an entire fruit smoothie in one sitting. She got a brain freeze.

knock knock!? . . No.

Wanna hear a joke? (Yeah, sure) So do I, got any?

Vagina (Note: If you are gay just move on by.)

what do you call a jew hanging from a tree? dead

why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

How can you tell the difference between a black guy and a white guy? skin color

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

What's scarier than the most horrifying monster you can think of? The thought of Donald Trump becoming president!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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