do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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Do you want to hear a joke?!?!?!?!?!?! A happy orphan

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

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Q: What do you get when a black man dates a white lady? A: A perfectly acceptable relationship.

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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