- Anti Joke

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

What you call it when 8 goes over 4? An improper fraction.

Why did the baby die? Because I refused to feed it.

what's gray, red, and goes over a 100 mph? a toad in a blender

Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

What did the caterpillar say to the robot? Nothing. Caterpillars do not have vocal chords and there are not, as yet, any truly portable robots capable of comprehending speech so to speak to one would be pointless.

One man calls emergency: - Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom! After five minutes, the same man calls back: - It is OK, I found another one.

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

If life gives you lemonade.

Allah walked into AK Bar

Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwhich... I dont rape my sandwhiches before i eat them

What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

who likes gay porn and has dirty littlesweeneys thathesticks up his hole? Jahn Willems

What did the black kid down the road get for Christmas? Your Bike.

Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

What's large, black and can be found in Australia? A large black Australian man.

Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.