Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

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What is it... Michael J Fox has a small one, modonna doesnt have one, Arnold Shwatznegger has a long one, the pope doesn't use his, and bill clinton uses his a lot. A last name

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Why did Jill fall off the swings? -Because she had no arms. Knock Knock? --Who's there? Not Jill. What did Jill get for Christmas? -What? I don't know. She couldn't open it.

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Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

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How many mentally challenged beings does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well one couldn't do it so adding more to the equation will only make it worse sir.

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How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

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What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

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You're mama's so stupid, she decided to go back to school and finish her degree in Russian Literature to improve her self-esteem and maybe -- just maybe -- save her marriage, which had been on the rocks, mostly due to her intolerable self-loathing.

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Hey how was your audition?" "yeah really good, I got in...

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

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A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

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So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

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Hey

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What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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There's an african american, a latino, and an asian man riding in the car, whos driving? Obciously one of the three

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What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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