Three black men walk into a gas station and don't steal anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A JESSE? Answer: THE SKINNY PERSON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your mamma's so obese that she can't stand up. She's been like this for years. That's because she's dead. She died of cardiovascular-related diseases.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Burp

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what do you call a child with bruises on his face? Child protective services.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, horse, we don't serve your kind here." The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse," says the bartender, "I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse, are you deaf? I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out, knocking over a stool with his tail.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's as hard as a rock? A rock

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what do you call something that dosint exist? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did goldilocks say to the three bears? she was savagely murdered before she could say anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a mustang? I don't have a mustang in my garage..

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your momma is so fat, she doesn't have a birthday. She has a birthweek.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops