A horse walks into a butcher shop and asks for two apple pies. The butcher says "sorry, but we don't have apple pies. It's a butcher shop." And the horse says "nevermind, I came here on my bike."

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Q.What do you call a friend with benefits? A. a buck fuddy.

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What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

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What isyellow and can't swim? a bulldozer

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have you seen Stevie wonders car? No Neither has he

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What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

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Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody is here, nobody would ever want to knock on the door of you. Yes, you. You reading these awful jokes.

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What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

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April showers bring... tornadoes that kill families

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you are reading this Then it must be deja vu

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What do you call a horny horse? A unicorn.

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Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

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What did the horse say to the other horse? We are both horses

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What worse than a baby nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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Your name is Fired, your Boss comes up to you and says "Your Fired" You say "I know my name." Your boss gets mad and throws you in a chimney

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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What do you call a black man sitting on a porch? Relaxed.

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why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops