Q. What do you get when you put a Jew and Adolf Hitler in the same room? A. Trouble

What's the difference between a bench and a mexican? A bench is an inatimate object that people sit on and a mexican is a person of mexican descent

Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Justin Bieber

this isn't meant to be a joke, but just letting all of you know, inside jokes don't count and kony jokes aren't funny

woman's rights

What do you get when you mix a black person with an octopus? i dont know. but it sure picks cotton well.

A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

Big feet on a man means he has, Nothing, a man's foot size has no relation to the size of his penis.

Why did Jimy fell down the stairs, because he was adopted.

I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

A blonde, a brunette and a red head are having a discussion on current issues. The brunette says she would like to see improvements in the environment. The red head says she would like to see the economy prosper. The blonde says she has to take a poop.

Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

How did the man break his arm raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.

You're so fake, Barbara Millicent Roberts is jealous of you.

Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

Why did Bob scream "Nurrrrrrrrr!!"?.....because he was mentally challenged.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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