Why did the duck walk on the moon? Because it was his lifelong goal

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Patient: Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Doctor: That's because you are. Patient: Wow, I need to lay off the mushrooms.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Trash gets dumped Just like you

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A midget, a nun, and a kangaroo walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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I saw a TV show last night. And it was good.

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

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What did the duck wear to go swimming? A bathingsuit!

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What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff? Because at 19 months she contracted an illness that left her blind and deaf and therefore never learned to properly use her vocal cords

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What do you call a cow with no legs. Dead, the farmer cut them off.

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What did the black man do in the Italian Pub? He gave a 20% tip and couldn't have been more courteous.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs.

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Knock knock. I have a doorbell...

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What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after being hit by a train.

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How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

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Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses all walk into a bar. They sit down at a table and glare at each other before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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What is better than a 50-inch wide plasma flat screen TV? A 51-inch wide plasma flat screen TV.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Jimmy wanted a bike for Christmas He got cancer instead.

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What is worse than the holocaust Nothing it was fine with the Jews in camps burning and dying

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How do you find out a chinese's name? Ask him/her

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Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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