Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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Why did the man walk into the wall? He was blind.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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What is the worse joke to tell a Orpahn Knock Knock Whos there not your parents

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1657 is a cool number, when a leprachaun sings it sounds like pie drinking an obese penguin (do you know what I mean....) :D

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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Whats the difference between a nigro and a nigro... They are both BLACK!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops