What do you say to a cat with a helmet on? Silly cat, you rhyme with hat but you shouldn't wear one.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? So nobody finds he's been fucking hens.

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How do you kill a black person? Make them skydive 10,000 feet in the air without a parachute

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Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

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What's the difference between contemporary Christian music?

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why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

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What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

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Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

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Q: what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill? A: mudslide

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How often do you remember a dream? Well what if I told you that this is a dream go ahead pinch your arm. You probably didn't feel pain. And just incase jump out a fifth story window. Come on do it. Now if you are still reading this you are either dreaming or didn't jump out the window. Shame on you!!!!!!

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Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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how do you make a baby stop crying? but hot coals down its throat

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A man took a crap. . . . It felt amazing

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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What do you get when someone tells you an anti joke? An anti joke.

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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There is a man laying on the floor in a pool of blood and vomit, there is a broken beer bottle in a puddle of beer next to him. He thinks is a sponge.Purple

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Why was the cancer patient often bullied by his peers? Because he happened to be an extremely bad person. He often annoyed people, was intransigent and often aggravated those around him causing them to bully him.

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why did the man cross the rode? He didn't he got hit by a bus

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

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I'm Polish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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