What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Two guys were Arguing. (A & B) A. You suck B. If i suck then you choke. A. The only way id choke is if i smelled your stank ass breathe. B. The only way id have stank ass breathe is if i was liking your moms vagina A. The only way my mom's pussy would stank is if you were liking it. B. The only way id be liking your moms pussy is if it were a dick.... Both stare at each other... and walk off awkwardly

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Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? You don't. You just shut up and listen.

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Happy Birthday! Your mom is dead!

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Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

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What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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What's blue and smells like red paint Blue paint.

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trump and hillary are both stranded on an island, who survives? america

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We spent trillions of tax payer's money on the death of 1 man... wait that's not funny...

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Well, I guess it's back to the drawing board.

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Man: Hey honey! you look mighty fine today! Want to go play some lax? Woman: I'd love to! Thanks babe! Man: Just kidding you are a woman.

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Roses are red Violets are T I T S I like T I T S T I T S

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America needs to burn Less fossil fuels to save the environment

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It's good to be a scientist and great to be a biologist. However, it is never okay to be a scientologist.

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Man 1: Not to be gay or anything, but I really like your shirt, it looks nice on you. Man 2: Not to be gay or anything, but I like men.

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Brother : you see this hand Sister : yes Brother : if you dont leave ill slap you with it Sister : no you wont !SLAP!!!!

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Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

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Why did William commit suicide? Because his grandmother had recently died of terminal cancer. His mother left him on the front step when he was two, and moved to Tennessee with her baby daddy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the turkey was in the oven and all the farm animals thought the chicken could run the errands in his place just fine.

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What did the snowman say when winter was ending? -Nothing you dumbass

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where's mom I killed her

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How does a black guy die? Unknown

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Why did the elephant climb the tree? Because he didn't want to tie his shoe.

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despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops