Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will. Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: Never. Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get. Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy? Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling! After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Was in a coma, survived trough smoke and mirrors, and I had 3 separated sections of my order in order to test the efficiency of my words, united we are about 6.800.000 people. Excuse my anger below, I mean I was in a coma and ended up on some hard painkillers, and while I am still tapering down on a "totally medicinally safe" dosage of 20 mg valium its a bitch, even for a guy that enjoys a mild painkiller every now and then in order to focus. Excuse my excessive typing, its paincontrol vs the stress and all 64 side effects of valium. I am alive, and my followers know that, I do not mean to brag, but Neronism tends to end up fucked up when I am gone with people trying to live up to what only I can do apparently, so I decided it was time to mash the separate groups together... Btw, we live at point zero now, if you do not know where that is, I can inform you at later time. But be quick about it if you have more questions, we only chat on horsehead due the "discussed hours"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A 10 year old underpriveledged boy goes to the second mile camp and meets his new counselor: Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky. The two bond very much and talk a lot. Sandusky invites the boy back to the locker room to shower because the boy got muddy. The boy takes a shower, gets clean, and goes back to his cabin. The boy has a great time at the camp and goes home.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is Brown And Sticky ? ......... a Stick

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why lets go Mets? Lets go Yankees!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy had no hair because he had cancer and died 3 weeks later.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What has a black, blue, and red all over? Timmy. He was mugged, and vigorously raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what do u call a dumbass phone cia cias phone

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the duck cross the road? Because he wanted to. Problem, AntiJoke community?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Sex

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whats brown and sticky? Doody

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what's the funniest joke? wish i knew

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what did the black guy say to the white comedian? haha

thumb_up thumb_down -4

God is real.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

it was all Tagart

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what did the boy with cancer get for christmas? i dont know he's jewish

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the opposite of Obama? Mitt Romney because he his white and a republican so all is good with him.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops