Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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Why did the Asian ace the test? Because she had worked very diligently, taken copious notses, and studied fervently until she had a thorough mastery of the topic.

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why do black people like watermellon? becasue it is a delicious red fruit at a wonderful price

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how do you open a can of coke with no tab? throw a washing machine at it

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What do you get when you cross a Dachshund and a Nazi? Bestiality. Ew.

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How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

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why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

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When someone calls me ugly, I run up and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

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Obama holds the most records for Multikills with Drones. Mu-mu-muuuultiiikilllll.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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When is a bus not a bus? When it turns into a street

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whats ironic about a white van being white the driver usualy is not

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CHORGLUND

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Your mama's so skinny; she can fit into most swimsuits sizes 4-6 and has a rather petite bottom.

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roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

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Once a upon a time there were three kittens that die, the end :D

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Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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What is the answer to this joke? Cuz fuck you that's why.

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than Nickelback? Nothing. -Win G.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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