The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

Why did the black basketball team beat the white basketball team? They practiced more

What do you call a purple apple? Bruised.

What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm Animals

If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

How can you tell if a woman is stupid? Yell the word "STUPID'' and see if she turns around.

What happened to the lady? She queefed.

whos gay and sits next to me? Griffen in my architecture class

What did the doctor say to the seriously ill patient? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

your mama's so fat... that's it

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

Why did Bob fall off a cliff? He had an epileptic episode.

What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

What did Joe get for his first birthday? Nothing he died at birth

What do an eagle and a off-white light bulb have in common? Nothing.

hi

What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

where did little Suzie go after the bomb went off? Everywhere.

whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

What happened to the dog that ate to much? It became obese.

what do you call a sexy feminist? nothing, there are none

how do you make a baby stop crying? but hot coals down its throat

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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