What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What's green and black? Grass with wheels.

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Fat people

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how do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The fridge is on its side, the door is torn off, and the ruined food scattered all over the floor. Not to mention there is an elephant in your kitchen.

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Roses are red Violets are silly Grease up your flaps Cause here comes my willy!

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why was 14 scared of 15? 7-8-9

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How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

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"knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The SS, we heard you are smuggling jews in your attic, so you are coming with us."

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what is green and red and goes 100 miles per hour? frog in a blender

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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whats does a dog cat spider and rat have in common?the dog cat and rat are all mammals.Exept for the rat idiot!!you should have figured THAT out before!!!

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

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Sarah Palin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were 5 brothers chasing it with a bat.

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Where does Charlie Sheen buy his clothes? Winners

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September 11 was the 9/11 of all terrorist attacks.

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why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was taped to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it didn't

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Weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee

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your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

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What do you get when you cross a rooster with a cocker spaniel? Nothing, because roosters and Dog's don't mix.

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What happened to the black guy that rammed his ankle against the bed frame? Yelled profusely until it stopped hurting.

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One time there was a man walking down the street. Wrong, it is physically impossible to walk down a street, you can only walk along it.

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Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops