Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

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What's the difference between tiger woods and Santa clause? Tiger woods is a thug

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

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how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

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What do you call a white guy sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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Why was the clown in red shoes wearing skis? Because he likes to ski in red shoes, and he's a clown

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So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

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If I had a nickel for everyday I lived...... I would get a nickel a day

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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A cat jumped into a swimming pool It drowned and was cremated.

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A man walks into a bar. He has a nice drink and leaves.

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My cat just died.

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FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

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What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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A black man, Jew and a Mexican go camping. A bear wanders into their campsite, but upon seeing them runs away because it's afraid of humans.

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A muslim walks onto a plane. He goes to 13C as that is his seat designated on his ticket.

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The Ohio State Buckeyes

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Roses are OK, Violets do the trick, C'mon and let me whip out my Dick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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