- Anti Joke

Who is green? Mike Wazowsky.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

Why did the Chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was in a chicken pen.

Where did Sarah go during the bombing? Everywhere.

-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

Why couldnt the girl braid her hair? She had cancer

Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

What's the hardest thing to do while masturbating? Having sex.

rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

What's worst than losing a million dollars? Losing a plane. Whats worst than losing a plane? losing 239 people, a plane and a million dollars

what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

Why was the orphan's christmas sad? He got a violent chest infection and died.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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