A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocausts.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why was the boy sad? there was a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call 100 dead babies in my garage? Murder.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why is mario red? His mother beat him as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How does a black guy die? Unknown

thumb_up thumb_down -21

how many members of the australian greens party does it take to write legislation? none, it's already been done for them by Karl Marx

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" the bartender asks. The horse kills everyone in the bar and stampedes the other horses into town.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the mom say to her daughter? I love you.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

thumb_up thumb_down -21

your mumma so fat when she stepped on the scales it said her phone number

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Whats black and white and red all over? A chopped up dalmation...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

So, a Turtle, a Giraffe, and a Hippopotamus walk into Stop-N-Shop. They are quickly excorted out and the Zoo is contacted to take the wild animals. The Manager wonders why they were there in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A seal walks into a club. And proceeds to die. Why? The seal isn't able to walk so it was crawling and a man was swinging a club to it's head, so it perished and he could feed his family. The Statement was censored by the FCC

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Your mother is so fat, she really could stand to lose a few pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do Michael Jackson and a throbbing, greasy, overcooked Shitake Mushroom have in common? Nothing. Just nothing at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was the phone wearing glasses? It lost its contacts!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why did the cow go to the theater? to see the new movies pick one and have a good time.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops