Q. What did the dead man do after he died? A. Nothing. He's dead.

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

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what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

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Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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A blind man who spoke English and a deaf man who used sign language went to a bar together. Although they didn't communicate they had a wonderful time.

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

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What has two legs and oinks? Half a pig.

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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Q: What do janitors and nuns have in common? A: They can't fly.

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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Q. What do black people, Asians, and Irishmen call their moms? A. "Mom"

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There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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