What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 6 feet under the ground? Doug What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 3 feet under the ground? Douglas

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Knock, Knock Who's there It's me open up the D#### door it's me open up the D#### door, who? just open the door this is not a fricken knock knock joke.

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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I woke up in bed with someone this morning. I forget why this is a joke, but your mother is a whore.

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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KCLTLMBAIMWSSHTCAWGAHW

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What do you call it when the Doctor goes back in time to meet himself? A pair o' Docs. What do you call it when Shaquille O'Neil goes back in time to meet himself? Shaquille O'Neil can't go back in time.

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Gay rights.

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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Why didn't the man give a location of the murderer? He was murdered

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Why couldn't the little boy see? His eyes were closed.

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A blind man walks into a library.

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A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

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What's the difference between Rick Perry and a toaster? One is a republican presidential candidate, while the other is an electrical appliance.

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

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Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

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How many mentally challenged beings does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well one couldn't do it so adding more to the equation will only make it worse sir.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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