Your mother is so fat, she really could stand to lose a few pounds.

A seal walks into a club. And proceeds to die. Why? The seal isn't able to walk so it was crawling and a man was swinging a club to it's head, so it perished and he could feed his family. The Statement was censored by the FCC

What do Michael Jackson and a throbbing, greasy, overcooked Shitake Mushroom have in common? Nothing. Just nothing at all.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

A child finally stood up to the school bullies! Recently the news did a story about a school shooting.

Why did the Iraqi cross the road? Because he was hired by the CIA as an undercover operative to lead them to a highly dangerous target in the small town of Aziziyah and was leaving the area to avoid the impending Pavelow strike on the town center.

Did you hear about the sea cow who sang "Part of your Herd?" It was the Little Moomaid.

why didn't the unicorn have a horn? It was a horse. Why didn't the horse have a horn? it was not a unicorn.

A group of cows boarded a spaceship and was launched into orbit around the Earth. It was the herd shot around the world.

Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

Roses are Red, They are also white, Infact nowadays with cross-pollination a hugely diverse number of different coloured roses are attainable.

casey, that is all, ruddel, that is all, hi mark

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

What's worst then leaving a public toilet when you just took a shit and the toilet is now clogged Realising that the maid was waiting for you to get out to clean the toilet...

AIDS

Q:How many pieces of paper can one tree make? A:Trees cannot make paper, people make paper from trees. So the answer is none, a tree can't make any paper whatsoever.

why did the cow go to the theater? to see the new movies pick one and have a good time.

Your mom says hi!.........Jinks!!!! yeah yeah yeah yeah yeaaaah.

Q: why did the black guy die? A: he got shot

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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