Q:What did the homeless guy say to the business man on the cell phone A: Nothing because he doesn't want to disturb his phone call

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Why did Sally fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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women's rights

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Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

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Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

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Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

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Why did the man have a really short temper? HOW THE **** SHOULD I KNOW???

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

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Knock Knock Who's there It's me open the door

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God hates fags, no...god i'snt real

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Whats black and yellow and is funny when its falling off a cliff? A bus full of niggers.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Gestapo

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What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

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Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

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What did Nick Comado say to the black person? Hello I live at 317 North 12th Street, Beech Grove, Indiana, USA. PLEASE come murder me and my family

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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AND

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Two men walk into a bedroom. Did I mention they were gay?

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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