im gonna poop my pants. mom said to wipe afterwards i am a teletubby

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Kim Jong Un thinks that he is in shape. And when you think about it, he's right. Round is a shape.

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Its true... Chuck Norris has no hair on his balls. Because hair doesnt grow on steel.

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Person A - you must be tired, cuz you've been running though my mind all day Person B - i have no legs...

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first moneky.. Why did the 3rd monkey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game.. Why did the 4th monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure..

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What's worse than being arrested by a cop? Dying of AIDS.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What do you call a white man without a face? Dead. What do you call a black man without a head? Negger.

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why didnt the black guy die on the bus fire? The fire was in the front of the bus!

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How do you know when an elephant is in your refrigerator Theres printson the cheese cakes

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

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What is worse then rain on your wedding day? Getting married.

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Nick Demarco got butt due to the high number of females in his apartment

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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Why was Charles bleeding, because he was stabbed in the head with a needle

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How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well why wouldn't it?

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What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

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Yo momma's so hot I raped her and slit her throat afterwards and hid her body in a ditch.

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why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

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toby limbers is gonna follow in his uncles footsteps, the gay ones

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Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops