There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

So a blond, a brunette, a ninja, a pirate, a priest, a rabbi, a mathematician and an engineer all walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What, is this some kind of joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

sky silverstein

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? -I do not believe chickens like being questioned of their motives. We should leave them alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was Billy no mates? He had no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

There was a boy named Johnson. He was a happy boy who had a mother and father who loved. One day he didn't do his homework

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the Chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was in a chicken pen.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then they probably won't hear the lumberjack's cries for help either.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A boy with one arm walks into a rock climbing facility and quickly realizes that his dream of being a rock climber is impossible because he is blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two chinese friends are chatting, and one says ????????? His friend says ??????? After that, the first one says ???????????, and you keep reading this like if you understood chinese.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the west African get for his birthday? Ebola

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops