Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

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Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

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Where do babies come from? You fathers penis.

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Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was deaf and blind.

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How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

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What did a pornstar say when she heard hard banging from the front door? Come inside.

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Roses are blue Violets are unicorns This doesn't make sense Refrigerator

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What did the child say after the priest touched him? Thank you for the ashes Father, have a blessed Lenten season.

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why was the jewish man so sad because his family was killed in a bus accident and he severed his spine and cant walk ever again and his insurance couldunt pay for the bill so he is now bankrupt so he borrowed from the mafia and now owes them 100,000 in a year or they will cut off his fingers and gauge out his eyes

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What did the homeless man's sign say? It didn't say anything. You had to read it.

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In 2030, what will most people be doing for a living? Using food stamps.

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A child walks into a bar. I swear those jungle gyms are too short.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley, I live next door.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? I DON'T have a Corvette in my garage.

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whats the best thing about life? whatever the best thing about life happens to be!

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What did thirty starving Jews fight for on the train ride to Birkenau? A crumb. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt. Why do we have to live in a world where people have to be so concered about why a stupid chicken decides to cross a road. Shouldnt we all be more focused on ways to get a better economy, or maybe end world hunger?

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What happened to the baby in the microwave. I don't know I was too busy masturbating off to it in my clown suit

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A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

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If your reading this you will realize that this sentence means nothing and I have just taken 5 seconds of your life that you'll never get back.

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Why did the cow fall Cause a fat kid pushed him over

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Where's my baby??

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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