Knock knock "Honey, could you get the door?" "I'm tired of doing everything here! Get you ass up and do it yourself!" "Well why don't you just go back to bar you whore?" "This marriage was a mistake, I'm going back to mother!" They divorced 5 months later.

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NO ONE LIKES RANGAS

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

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How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No number of them could figure it out. They sit in the dark for hours, scared of the monsters.

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A man walks into a bar He says "ow" and promptly sits down and ices the bruise he sustained

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what's worse than failing a test? having your house burnt down

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what is like a duck and quacks ? A duck.

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How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

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Why was the boy sad? A crazed drifter killed his family and made him watch.

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What's worse than a guy staring at you? Two guys staring at you.

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How many moose does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, it is biologically and theoretically impossible for a moose to climb a ladder and screw in a light bulb.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Why are black people not allowed to play football? They are.

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Why was Susie's mom crying? Because Susie got hit by a bus

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Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

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a chicken and a rooster walk into a bar. and then walk out because a bar is no place for a chicken and a rooster.

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How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

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anti jokes are really funny

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Why can't kids do drugs in school? Because it's against the rules.

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Q: What did the psychopath dream about? A: An insane chimpanzee kicking his head off, or maybe something normal

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my chew toy throw it maybe!

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whats long, hard and full of seamen submarine

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A man walks into a bar…. he then looks around checking to make sure no one saw this abashing action. He sees no one did then plashing a big smile on hst face he begins to strut forward only to trip over an empty can of spray cheese. it is important to note that this spray cheese was low fat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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