What's worse than having a friend in a car accident? Laughing at their funeral.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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What did the baby said to her mother? Nothing because she aborted him

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A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

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What is wrong with racism? A lot of things.

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a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

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A black guy and a Mexican were in a car. Who was Driving? The police

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you know what sucks more than getting raped by a gorilla? getting raped by two gorillas.

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Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

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Whats black, white, and huge? The world if you are a dog.

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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What do you call a man which busts ghosts A ghostbuster. Duh

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Yo' momma's so fat that when she steps on the scales the number seen to appear is proportionately larger than that seen to appear when the average human steps on them.

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Why'd the girl commit suicide? Because Justin Bieber admitted he was gay.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot turned into a loaf of bread.

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What did the man with paranoid schizophrenia say? I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia.

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What do you do to a duck with no bill? Please, leave the duck alone, it's bad enough for him having no bill.

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because she had been forcibly removed from her place of food preparation by a large angry mob of her neighbours who thought she was a wtitch and were now going to burn at the stake. It is Salem, november 1643.

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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