Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

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-Why Peter is going to mall for buying some beer? -Because he was 18 and he was able to do it.

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Why was Brother Jim so loyal to god? Because he had a harpoon through his anal cavity.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? One is food the other, fuel.

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A: What is worse than a melted chocolate bar. B: An eaten one.

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Why did lady gaga set her alarm? So she could get up in the morning.

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This guy walks up to the bartender, and says to him, " ill bet you $100 that i can piss in this cup from 20 ft away." The bartender laughs, thinking hes gonna get an easy 100 bucks. he says "ok, u do that and ill watch." the guy says "ok but one second." he then walks over to this table full of guys and the bartender see him and them whispering and shaking heads. then the guys walks back over, and says to the bartender, "ok here i go" then he whips out his wang and starts pissing all over the place,all over the bartender, the counter, everywhere but the cup. Meanwhile the bartenders laughing, because he thinks he made some easy money. then the bartender asks the guy for his money and the guy says, "alright one minute." then the guys walks over to the table full of guys and they al start pulling out money and give it to him. so the guy walks over to the bartender and says, "here you are, your 100 bucks" the bartender notices him smileing and says "u just lost 100 bucks why are you happy?" and the guy says, " you see that table full of guys over there? well, i bet them all $500 dollars that i could piss all over you, your counter and all of your things, and that youd not only be happy about it, but youd laugh!!!"

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Everyone lies about agreeing to the terms of service... look, I'll do it right now! because i have to click it in order to post the joke.

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Lilys are from england violets from japan. I've got a knife now get in the van

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There once was a man from Nantucket Whose name was Mike

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I was eating an orange in the park last week when I saw four men brutally murdered before my very eyes.

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Whats black and white and red all over? An interracial aborted fetus

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Q: why did timmy fall over? A: he was hit by a plane

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knock, knock no one answers man goes home and shots himself because he feels alone

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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Why did the girl not apply for her American CItizenship? She was already an American Citizen.

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What's a four letter word that ends with "rape"? Stop.

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So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They laugh over a beer and leave

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Q. why didnt the boy get a christmas present from his dear grandmother? A. because she died on thanksgiving

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some one knocked on tims door, at the same exact time, someone died in africa

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What's worse than forgetting how to spell? asghasonbma.

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What do you call a Black Comedian? Funny, You Racist.

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A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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