Optimus Prime: "GIVE ME YOUR FACE!" Shockwave: "Illogical. I have no face." Optimus Prime: "Then GIVE ME YOUR EYE!" *RIPP*

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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Thats the magic of Moral Man, I do not make people my bitches, they curl up and do it all for me. Moral: HEEEEEY BITCHEEEEEES! WAZZAAAAP!

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How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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One day there was 2 black guys in hoodys with knives in there hand. They tapped me on the shoulder and took my groceries. They then made me a jam sandwich and went on there way

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knock knock whos there cops o shit come on they found out about pot lets go

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what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

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Yeah, I know too, its as if "Omg he has not replied in 5 seconds something must be wrong", sorry about that. Not endorphin person? That cannot be too good.

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What do you call a teenager who cant add? A Total Failure

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What do lawyers and sharks have in common? They both play vital roles in their own society or ecosystem.

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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what happened to the man who got hit by a truck driven by Obama? he died.

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girl. have you seen my duck man. yes he is with me right now girl rely you have him man. yes in my diner girl. d.i.c.k. man.f u

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why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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So there's this big ass bronco right? It goes to a store and it asks Ben Roethlisberger "Do you know where I can find some girls to rape?" Ben Roethlsiberger says "In aisle 5" so the moose goes down to aisle 5 but there aint no girls!

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Whats the differents between a red farrari and a dead baby? I dont have a red farrari in my garage;)

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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Q: What do you call half of the worlds population of black people on the moon. A: Close enough.

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What do you call a dick with blonde hair? Joffrey Baratheon.

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Listen Nero, you consider us like friends too right?

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a disabled man takes a walk in a park

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Hey Bill, did you know we have a black guy in our family tree? Really? Yeah, he's still hanging there

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12/23/2012

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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