A Jew walks into a bar. He immediately turns around and walks out because prices at this particular high end bar are much too high for his liking.

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How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

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The Yak, a long-coated bovine found in the Himalayas, is named for its distinct call, which sounds similar to "yak-yak-yakyak".

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What do you call cheese that is not yours? It depends on the type of cheese.

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

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ask me if i am a tree. no.

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Why did they use the phone as a football? Because it was a phone-ball.

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My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

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Santa and a smart blonde jump of a cliff. Who gets to the ground first? Neither, they don't exist.

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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Three blind men walk into a bar, and, no... wait, sorry just one; so one blind man walked into a bar, and... uh, okay, so it was actually more of a small post. This is pretty much just a plausible, yet unfortunate event. My bad.

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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being chased by other cannibal chickens.

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Why does Joel's breathe smell?

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong WALKS on the moon. Michael Jackson rapes little boys

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What do a bike and a duck have in common? They both have handlebars except for the duck.

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what did the blond say to his mother?? Nothing. He is deaf and has to use sign language.

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Why did the chicken go cluck cluck oh baby yeah balloon your mama oops did kangaroo say? I had sex with your wife and stole your car keys.

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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whats wosre than stubbing your toe? being lost on a desert island being raped

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A man with a barbie doll walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "I bet you $100 that I can turn this barbie doll into a beautiful lady". The bartender laughs and says "Okay." The man takes out a brush and begins brushing the doll's hair. Seconds later the man has a seizure and falls to floor a dies. It turns out he was a drug addict and had a fatal over dose. The bartender never got his $100.

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what's the only thing worse than losing a pen before a test? getting raped by a pedifile. -teagan doherty-

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why cant ben cry, because i gorged his eyes out with a popsickle stick.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops