Knock knock... Home invasion

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What happened when Tim's house caught on fire? The fire department was contacted and they put the fire out.

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Why did the sloth swing from the tree? It hung itself.

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If bananas are purple, then what color are oranges? I am not going to tell you the answer because this joke has no significance whatsoever.

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Micheal Curran...that is all.

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Why black people are so good at football? Because they have white feet.

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jsahgfvdjfhgdehv? oiyduhgfdushy

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What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

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In a joke book: So a man walks into a bar. Suddenlly the universe around the author crack. Unable to sustain the infinite potential of punchlines, the author tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. The stewardess calls secret service and has the man arrested.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

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Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

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Yo momma's so old, she lives in a nursing home and is on various medications that she needs to take to stay in optimum health.

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The tooth fairy, Santa and, Justin Beiber are the same, little kids believe in them, whats wrong with America these days

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Q: Why did Tom bought a new sweeper? A : because his grandma fired their maid

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Why? Why not?

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I'm Ryan Dunn, and this is a 120mph car crash

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So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

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what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

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Where do you guys find all these jokes? Your mom's Vagina

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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