Obama

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Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

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1,000 people get out of a plane , who hits the ground first? The DEAD guy!!!!

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What's the difference between a smashed watermelon and a dead black person? One is a minor slip of the hands and the other is a fatal accident involving a human being.

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What did the T-Rex say to the chicken? Nothing. First of all because the Tyrannousaurus Rex has been extinct for over 65 million years and secondly because Tyrannousaurus Rex's and chickens are both animals of lower intelligence so they cannot talk to one another.

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Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

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what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

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how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

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How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

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What happened after September 11, 2001? September 12, 2001

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A man walks into a bar. There is no one there.

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"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for his birthday? A bike

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What is black and burns really well? charcoal.

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What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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I don't get it

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A black man walks into a bar in Alabama, he then proceeds to have a couple of drinks and leaves.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?....

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Why did the car drink Slurpies? I don't know. Why? Doorknob. Carl was unsure on what his friend, Frank meant when he told his joke, but then again who IS sure? Frank is the only one who truly knows what happened that day on August 13th 2010 when his mother came over for a surprise visit to her son's house just as Frank was heading out the door about to get in his truck and buy groceries, unaware that his mother was standing outside and bending over to ring the door bell not to expect Frank opening the door with his quick and violent actions thus hitting his mother in the face as the door swung open. Frank hadn't known his mother was at his house nor even remembered him but there she was, past out bleeding to death on his front lawn. It was Frank's fault that day, when his mother past away and reason why Frank hides his anger through his jokes. If only he hadn't opened that door he tells himself every night. Now he's cursed himself with his odd humour of using doorknobs as punchlines to hide his grief of his loss. And with that, Carl replies; Ummm.... I don't get it.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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