What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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Why did the little boy cry and run home from the store? Because the store was out of pickles.

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Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

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Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

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What's the difference between a volleyball and a tree? They're both volleyballs except for the tree.

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What's worse then getting a broken bone? A large marsupial charging at you with vicious speed

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what do you call a mexican being baptized? a mexican becoming christian.

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there are two wales chilling at a bar one looks at the other and does a wale call for 2 minutes and the other looks back and say "dude your drunk we gotta go!"

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Q: What happens when eight men throw purple at a rain coat? A: Mud-flaps, because electricity can't power a vagina.

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What happens when you give a math problem to a blonde? She works through it to arrive at the answer.

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what are the best kind of bees none they sting and hurt like hell

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Q. What's big, green, has four legs, fuzzy, and if fell out of a tree would kill you? A. A pool table

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What has four legs one head but only one foot? A dog that was born with physical deformities.

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Why don't birds cry when they get hurt, lose a loved one, or watch opera? How the f*** should I know.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

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Do you know what has always angered me about people not choosing to control their own lives Nero?

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The declaration of Independence was singed in? Pen.

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why was the boy crying? cause an elephant tusked him up the ass

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because his hands were amputated.

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What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

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Of course, you have always found more joy in seeing others happy, that pursuing your own happiness.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops