Why did the cow cross the road? The slaughter yard was on the other side!

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a dog jumping up and catching a frisbi

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What's sad about a guy jumping off a cliff? The cliff.

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What's the worse part about a Jewish man dying in a house fire? It was his birthday

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a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms... Why couldn't sally get up? She had no legs Why did no one help sally? Because she has no friends.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple not f**cking blue!

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Q: What did the Catholic man say in response to the gay man asking what he likes to do? A: golf

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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what is big and can make things come out? a gun

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Why was little Mat petting his dog? Just kidding his dog died in a house fire... so did little Mat

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Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

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Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

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If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

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Why did the squirrel fall out the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? It was stapled to the first squirrel Why did the the third squirrel fall out the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fourth squirrel fall out the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a squirrel Why did the postman die? He got hit in the head by four squirrels and a tree

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How many shots do you have to take to start feeling light-headed? Ask JFK.

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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Why did the man go to Lourdes Because he has lost all hope

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Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

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Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

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What did the raped girl get for Christmas? Pregnant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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