Where did little susie go during the explosion? Everywhere :) What color were her eyes? Blue. One blew this way and one blew the other way. :p Knock, knock Who's there? Not susie :)

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Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.

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What does the Post Office have in common with a shoe store? Both provide goods and services in exchange for money.

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You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

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Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

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Why did Teddy eat dirt? Because he was hungry.

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why did the man break his arm? he didn't, someone else broke it for him

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your stupid.

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Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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What do you call a child with a peg leg, and eye patch, and no hand? Names

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What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

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A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Why was the man denied access to the college Because he did not have good grades in the past.

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WHat did the Somalian girl get for Christmas? AIDS

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Cause KFC was chasing him.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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Q :Whats the difference between a truck load of bowling balls and a truck load of dead babies? A: I don't have a truck of bowling balls.

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Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops