What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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If your Jewish, then don't go to Germany.

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Adam Chebali is awesome

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Man: Hey honey! you look mighty fine today! Want to go play some lax? Woman: I'd love to! Thanks babe! Man: Just kidding you are a woman.

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why did the blue berry cross the road

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what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

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What's worse than seven babies in a trashcan? Not much.

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What do you call a Koala bear that does not have a chin? A Koala bear.

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You need to trim these evergreens. Either they are getting low our my van is GROWING!

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What happens when you give a guinea pig a cherry? He turns into satan.

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It's good to be a scientist and great to be a biologist. However, it is never okay to be a scientologist.

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to one tree? nailing 1 baby to ten trees.

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Why was Timmy crying when he got home? His family was dead in a pile with a pitchfork going through each of their bodies

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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What did one apple say to the other apple? -Nothing, apples can't talk

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

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On the dora show when they asked where the Monster was why did the arrow point left instead of right?? Because it was scared

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

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Shark week? More like owl week. Hoo!

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Q: A Mexican and a Jew are at a race. Who get hit first? A: None of them because they're from a different religion.

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Why did the black man walk into the white house? Cause he lives there because he is our president

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Why did the blonde stare at the juice carton? Because a man was pointing a shotgun at her and would kill her if she didn't do it.

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Q: Whats worst than the Holocaust A: If a second Holocaust happened, and then you found an apple in your apple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops