Your momma's so fat, people make jokes about her.

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Why does Rupert the Bear wear chequered trousers? Because that's how the creator originally drew him.

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Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

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What do you call a person with 4 arms? A normal person. (fore arms) (meant to be audible)

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why did no one help him up? Because nobody liked him.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to one tree 1 baby nailed to 10

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What's red, green and smells like crap? Green and red crap.

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

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If I had a nickel for everyday I lived...... I would get a nickel a day

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How do you kill a Chinese hobo Shoot him

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A penguin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

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What's the difference a black person and a park bench? A park bench is a object and a black person is human.

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What's orange and rhymes with a parrot. A carrot

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wouldnt it be ironic if chuck norris was shooting blanks

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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Why is Wednesday a bad day? Because at some point, Monday will come around again.

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What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

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Yo momma so stupid she tried drowning a gold fish. She got accused for animal cruelty.

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What did the mentally retarded kid get in his iq test drewl

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops