How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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Have you heard that Bert & Ernie from Sesame Street are gay? If so, than whoever told you may be mentally challenged, Bert & Ernie are both puppets which even though they resemble people with active personalities, they remain puppets and do not have a sexual oreintation.

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My brother found a worm in his apple. I dared him to eat it, so he did. When he tried to swallow, the mashed up worm congealed in his throat, killing him. Later, I found out that the worm had poisonous rectum fluids. I was given the Nobel Peace prize.

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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Why Did The Black Man Cry? KFC Went Bankrupt!

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A blind man walk in to a bar... He then yells a 4 letter explative, backs up, and walks around it.

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Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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Why did the boy die of Cancer? Because I took some radioactive chemicals and hen I feel like it I beat him with it.

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"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

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They found Michael Jackson dead in his house and found Madeleine McAnn in the cupboard 8P

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how do you make a blond girl cry? kill her family

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Write your own pointless joke on http://pointless-jokes.tk

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what did the toe say to the other toe? nothing they cant speak

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They scolded her and sent her to her room.

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Whats red and smells like black paint Red paint

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What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

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It's good to be a scientist and great to be a biologist. However, it is never okay to be a scientologist.

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What is worse than catching someone trying to cheat by looking at your exam? Getting struck by lightning.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Banana. Banana who? The Holocaust.

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Even though I can't tell Because I am color blind

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How many babies can you fit on a ferris wheel? None, babies aren't allowed to ride

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Why do I exist? Because my mom gave birth to me.

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What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops