Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? No I said Lou. Oh hey Lou come on in.

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"Hey have you seen Stevie wonders car. Neither has he.

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Why couldn't the black man get his lawnmower to start? He was too poor to own a home =)

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Why does Joel get so many numbers from girls? Because he asks for them nicely.

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A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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A black man in a hooded sweatshirt is sprinting down a back alley. He is trying to get into better shape by exercising and knows a shortcut to his house.

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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every time I stay in the water too long my pp gets all shriverly sometimes can't find it omg that's so weird

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How do you make a person laugh? Tell a good joke How do you make them cry? Tell a sad story How do you make them cry and laugh at the same time? Tell a bad joke

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What did the fat man eat for breakfast? Nothing, he died of heart failure in the night.

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what is like a duck and quacks ? A duck.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

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Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

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Why did the Mexican fail his english test? Because he had studied for an inadequate amount of time and proceeded to fornicate with many women, also preventing him from sleeping for the advised 7-8 hours a night.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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A black person and a white person decide to have a race. Who won? The white person Don't be a racist.

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Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama find a magical lamp. The Genie says, "I will give each of you one wish, and one wish only.." They all wished to be presidents.

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Why did the chick cross the road? Because she's a gold digger homie, dat chick is greedy like a mofo. She be all up in your grill and sheit tryin' getchu to spend your money lik dat homie ditch dat hoe, she aint even worth it brotha.

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Which of the following is the reason the Titanic sunk. Select all that apply. A. Iceberg B. No radar C. Late warning D. Put your hands on me Jack E. This ship can't sink F. Over by the bed, the couch G. God himself can't sink this ship Z. All the above X. None of the above Q. Why are you still reading

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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