"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Why do alcoholics use brown bags? Because they are ashamed of what they have become and seek to repress their guilt by entering into denial.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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What's brown and sticky A stick

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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What is an Indian's favourite country? North Currya

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Why was 7 afraid of 6, because 6 raped 5

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A man walks into a bar a browning automatic rifle, it accidentally fires hitting the main artery in his neck and he promptly bleeds to death.

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knock knock go away

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket? No. A picture of a red bucket? No. A photo nailed to a red bucket, which shows a red bucket with a very realistic painting of a red bucket on it? Yes.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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i put a oie in the oven, it baked

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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