If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? -Allergies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He has no legs.

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my egg roll

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Why did the man laugh as he sat in the electric chair? He was being tickled by the guard.

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Q - What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench? A - The nba - Cool Bean

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A mosquito flies into a bar and orders a bloody mary, the bartender then takes out a swatter and kills the pest. Noticing the event, the patrons cheer and continued drinking their frothy beverage. Minutes later, the phone rings and the bartender answers the phone. "Hello?" "Hi, I'm looking for a friend of mine, is he there?" "Let me check, by the way, what's his name?" "Jack Hoff" "One sec. HEY FELLAS(yelling over the noisy bar), IS THERE A JACK HOFF HERE? I NEED A JACK HOFF! ANYONE?" Mr. Hoff, sitting at the bar hears this and asks, "who is it?" "He said he's a friend of yours!" "Which one?" " He said his name's Dick Stroker and he needs help on something hardhe'll meet you around back." "Oh ok, thanks."

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why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead How did the second koala fall out of the tree? it was hit by the first one how did the third koala fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game and jumped off

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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What did the caterpillar say to the robot? Nothing. Caterpillars do not have vocal chords and there are not, as yet, any truly portable robots capable of comprehending speech so to speak to one would be pointless.

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Why did the little girl keep running into things Because she was blind

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Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

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"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

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roses are red violets are blue i have aids and so do you happy valentines day!

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How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... It shouldn't take anymore than one person to do this job, regardless of there hair color.

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because he felt he had nothing left to live for

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What did the girl get with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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what's white and sticky semen

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Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

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A bar walks into a man

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

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What's 9 + 10 19 AB

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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