Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

What's white and black and red all over A nun with a spear throug her head

What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexic Assosiation.

If life gives you lemonade.

A man walks in to a bar. Ouch.

what did the aboriginal kid get for christmas? your bike.

Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said, "No change. He's likely to die, too."

a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

what did the blind man get for christmas? Cancer.....

Who was at the door when Helen Keller answered? She doesn't know

Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

I'm Coming

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

What is worse then losing your remote? Falling off a cliff landing on a sharp rock and dying slowly.

A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

Q: Why are there no tablets in the jungle? A: The pharmaceutical logistics involved would be enormous and would make very little business sense.

A boy walks up to a girl he finds attractive and says "You're body's kick'in! ... i mean...hey, do you know karate?"

How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

When u send someone fudge, u must send a note along with it! Roses are red Violets are blue Fudge is brown Here's some fudge

Whats a black and white and red all over? i dont know...who spends their time researching this kind of stuff

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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