So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and way, along came a spider who sat there beside her and asked, "Hey bitch what's in the bowl?"

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."

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What did John name his dog? Doggy

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What do you call a black man standing on a sidewalk? Preferably race shouldn't matter in this situation, but in most social circumstances the man would be described as black to elucidate the person being depicted.

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Why did the blonde die? She was slurped up by a 1,000 foot anteater.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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A my dog was a rappa. He recorded a hit. But it had no lyrics, because he is a dog.

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Q:whats the wost thing that can happen to you when you find something? A:not finding something

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A jewish man runs into a wall with an erection. He broke his nose.

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg's the same.

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who is the shortest man in the world? ADITYA DEV

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what did the cop say to the robber... freeze bitch hope you like prison food and penis

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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