Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

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Stare at the person nearest to you and say "sprinkles" with the straightest face possible.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Your one and only! Step away from the door, Francheska. You're violating the restraining order.

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What is not funny Bad jokes!????

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why does andy speak when not spoken too because he wants a smack

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The girl was really drunk and passed out. She woke up the next day with a hangover.

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whats the difference between a ferrari in my garage, and a pile of dead babies in my garage. I do not have a ferrari but i do have a pile of dead babies

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An anti joke a day... really doesn't actually do that much

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A gay man,a black woman,a seven year old child,a liberal,an atheist and an asian walk into a building. A hijacked plane flies into the tower they were in and kills them all on a cold September morning.

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11/9 Americans won't get this joke.

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q ggggggggggggggggg

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Why did the mailman say hi to you? He was trying to be friendly

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How do you kill a blonde? There are a variety of methods, but I prefer a fine mix of insecure clowns and pepto-bismol.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you had a pulmonary embolism, you would be too

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am adopted And so are you

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How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

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Charmander is red,Squitle is blue,If you were a pokemon i'd choose you.

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roses are red ur face is too and if u r hot my penis is going in u

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butt bananan appe aeriugbahrei bviaAETRGNARJEOGBAEROUGBAREOGABINGBIFDUVHR9EH VARVBNF V BAR GABNER UGH 8U78 6 78 C 877 86IHUR T HUGU GHG HU GHUG ERHU; BGIU AHUB HOAU AOH;UGG RJHI NJB NBJ NAJF BNJ NJ IJ BB B NNB UB OH UAERFNSKALDF AHUAWRETFBSUGFHAUNVCHCIWERCFO4F[U940RU320RY4 33 4TVNO34INRT4`UR1C34BT4567=95084651898549+0451467016849=80 .97.8

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My grandma once told me " never trust the blacks"

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I supported my sisters decision to get an abortion. Still would have been cool to be a dad :/

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There were three men named manner, poop, and shut up. they all were mad fun of in middle school and ended up hating their parents for giving them such retarded names.

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Lars Arne Eriksen (Yes his real name) is filing a case against me (because he believes that my actions (from my private estate-ish bigger) are shaming the firm.... Now, can anyone of you randomeers, tell me what firm I represent? Which firm I am not employed at but OWN, meaning that I am the one that will be evaluating if his case is valid? ERIKSEN YOU FUCKING DUMBASS YOU CAN LEAVE NOW YOU ARE NOT GETTING PAID FOR READING THESE COMMENTS AND SENDING THEM TO YOUR BOSS... ...BECAUSE I AM YOUR BOSS YOU FUCKING DUMBASS! NOW TYPE THIS DOWN, TAKE YOUR LITTLE PICTURES AND SEND THEM TO ME, SO I CAN SAY OFFICIALLY THEM "YOU SUCK YOU ARE FIRED" Now, feel free to post what Lawfirm I not only represent but own 99.9 of, if anyone guesses right, I will send you ten fucking million USD, and quit my position, if not I fire Eriksen and... (ill do that anyways Eriksen, you are not getting paid today, go home, we shall speak of this later, consider yourself on the way of getting officially fired. Not for having fun like we are here (you know at my tiny house here) THE HUGE ONE, but for embarrasing yourself and attempting to... Sigh, shame your boss by reporting him not to your boss, but to your the lead attorney... FUCKING DUMBASS I AM THE LEAD ATTORNEY WHICH MEANS THAT THIS IS WHY YOU CALL ME BOSS! According to this little dialer, twelve people from our firm are watching this site because we are having fun, and you just ridiculed yourself all in front of them. Dont show your face at my firm again dumbass, you can keep working until I officially let you go, but you wont get any pay from the official work. Guys at work, explain him how he cannot file a complaint about me, to myself for shaming a law firm whose nobody knows I AND ONLY I PROPERLY REPRESENT! Go home Eric crapton, make sure he leaves guys, thank you very much.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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