Q:how do confuse courtney A: give her a beer

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

A depressed horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "Millions of years of natural selection." The horse then tries to drink away his sorrows, but the alcohol is only a temporary release from the pain he's feeling. He kills himself the next day.

Why did the road cross the chicken? REVENGE

Why did the boy fall off his bike? He had no legs

What happens when Chuck Norris and Mr. T get into a car accident? They trade insurance information.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

What do you say when you accidently punch a wasps nest? Nothing.The correct choice is ton run as fast as you can to avoid getting stung by the entire nest of wasps.

A man finds out he was molested by his father as a child.

Why did Sally cry at the wedding? somebody shot her future husband.

A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

What did the whale do when he was angry? He beached himself, causing a major ecological disaster and costing the beach community thousands of dollars to return him to the water.

ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

Whats blue and flufft Answer: Blue Fluff

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

Q: Why was the Asian teacher fired from her job? A: Because she always showed to school too late and to make matters worse the school had recently found out that she was a raging alcoholic.

why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

how do you boil oil? add b to oil

What's worse than a tree getting cut down? This joke.

Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

A blind man walks past a fish market then says "why hello lady's" ????

What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...