What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A woman gets into the front seat of a car and starts driving.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse than stepping on a piece of gum? A clown following you around all day throwing toothbrushes at you. ___ Zertop™

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I may be ugly, but I'm also dumb.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

"Have you seen the food African kids eat?" "No.." "NEITHER HAVE THEY!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you get Pikachu onto a bus? You ask him politely.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? were lawyers

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When life gives you a hamburger, you know you're at Mr. Life's Hamburger Stand on 8th Avenue.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What happens when your first name is Newton? You get nicknamed NEWT

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A boy kills DEER & cooks it & doesn't tell friends what it is. He gives a clue "Its what my girlfriend calls Me!..

thumb_up thumb_down +12

roses are red violets are blue i have shit in my mouth so screw you

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar, he realizes he has no money and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's long and black The unemployment line

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Xbox One

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Who's the best player in Madden 07 on the PS2? Michael Vick.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's big fat and ugly? A monster

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops