Johnny: One day dad i will be tall like you! (Later that day johnny was found dead in a garbage bag)

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What happened to Bilbo? He shit his pants.

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how does a a fat person dance? with his feet

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

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Why could'nt Ray Charles read: He was black

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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The other day I went to the holocaust museum and it was horrible No air conditioning or cold drinks

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Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first? Give us the bad news first, the parents reply. Your baby has red hair, says the doctor. Well whats the good news, ask the parents. It’s dead.

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Whats Green and Smells Like Grass? Grass

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Linda: See that rainbow? Isn't it beautiful? Bart: I'm color blind.... Linda: Well...this is awkward...

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Adam Fantuzzi loves stroking jacobs small penis

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A lion and a cheetah raced each other and the cheetah won Lion: "man you're a cheetah!" Cheetah: "no you're lion!" Then the cheetah tears off the lions head and feeds it to their babies

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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What do you get when you cross a vampire and Adolf Hitler? A socially unacceptable and awkward hybrid of two unrelated, technically dead things.

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Why are stand up comedians called stand up comedians? Because they are standing up while telling jokes, dumby.

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A woman has sex with an Asian man, then a white man, and then a black man. She chooses to be in a relationship with the black man because he is prepared for the responsibilities of a relationship and the other two men, though both are well endowed, are not ready.

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How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

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What did the bartender say to the three-legged Irishman? What can I get you?

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what did the monitor say to the boy? Im a Monitor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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