roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender then looks down and realizes that the pirate has a steering wheel on his penis. "Sir, are you aware that you have a steering wheel on your penis?" the bartender asks. "Arrrrrrr! It's driving me crazy! I just woke up one day and it was there!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon, it looks like it could be very harmful to your health and slightly uncomfortable. Not to mention your penis is out in the open." "You are right, what was I thinking?" The pirate agreed. He proceeded to get his friend to drive him to a hospital, for drinking and driving is not safe, and steering wheels on penises are not healthy.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

thumb_up thumb_down +20

knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

your momma is so poor that she is on welfare.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

a. why? b. because I wanted

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what did the cat say to the potato? meow

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

So a man walks into a bar, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops