Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your momma's so old she might die soon.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's black, white, and can't turn around in a phone booth? A nun with a javelin through her chest.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did john have to have back surgery He needed his back "screwed" up

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What would you do if I ripped your face off? Bleed to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What does the lifeguard do on his free time? Ejaculate.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

My name is Will I am a real homosexual

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is 1 + 1 equal to? 2, because if you have one orange and if you add another orange, you will have 2 oranges, therefore 1 plus 1 is 2.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two kids walk into a bar and get arrested for underage drinking.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Hi! Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Roughly 1150 pounds if a full grow male.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A kid walks into a ctholic school and asks about the therory of evolution.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Just the other day there was a house, and unforunatly Bob was a burn victim, the doctors said that he would have had a slow and excruciatingly painful death... Luckily he was already dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is the worst thing to say to a dying person? After you die I'm going to defile your corpse, nan.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So Helen Keller walks into a bar...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Where did the two Jews ride when they got married? In the back of the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the girl eat a cookie? Because cookies are good.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops