Why don't woman wear watches? Because there is a clock on the stove!

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what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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Obama stumbles upon a KKK meeting. All the klansmen shake his hand and respect him because he is the President.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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Why did the nervous man jump out of a plane? He was sky diving.

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Nero7 How are you doing? This is "Eliza" I hope I will be joining, but I cannot reach you by phone, please respond ASAP time is running out.

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what did one computer say to the other .........

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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When did the ball-room finally close? Closing time.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

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I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

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Once upon a time a was born

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What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

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Did you hear about the blind man who got stuck by a bus? Poor guy never saw it coming.

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Enters password. Sorry your password must contain the entire alphabet, your left foot, a theme song to a television show, and the blood of your enemies. Enters password. Password Strength: Weak

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:( You are right Nero, I am terribly sorry, when I see you, I see the brightest man I have ever seen, should you ever turn against me and stop underestimating yourself, there is nothing I could do.

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An Asian walks into a bar and says, "1???????????"

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks heavily and dies of alcohol poisoning.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple That one time I rapped and killed your mom, oh and happy birthday prick

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A white man/women works behing the counter at a 7/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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