Girl: What is your phone number? Guy: 1-800-Choke-Dat-Ho

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? Nothing, chimneys can't talk!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm allergic to both Now I'm dead

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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Q. How do you make a chicken dance? A. I don't know I was asking you.

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

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Q: what happens if a black guy says hi person? A: he says hi person

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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where does al queda go on a business trip the twin towers

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her to jump over your car, then drive by in a truck

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Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

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Whats really ugly and horny Jake's mom

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?? Nobody knows because he had no arms, therefore he could not open any presents.

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When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

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An Asian woman is driving home from work and arrives in 30 minutes, which is strange because it normally does not take that long but she left during rush hour and the traffic was very bad at the time.

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You look like Susan Boyle f**ked Snooki and then got hit by a truck.

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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Stop making fun of Stevie Wonder, you dont seen what he has.

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What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They're both Tom Cruise.

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roses are blue violets are blue everything is blue I'm sad now

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Why can Michael Jackson no longer moonwalk? because he's dead.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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