A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

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Did you hear the one about the dead guy? Apparently he was no longer living.

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why is stu taking so long to post a joke because he is autistic

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What do you call a bunch of Cubans on a boat in the Gulf of Mexico? A guy who just so happens to own a boat and is on a fishing trip with his buddies. -Mitch Hastings

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Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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Why can't Hellen Kelller drive? Because she's a woman.

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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What did the bank teller say to Santa Claus? May I help you?

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Knock Knock. There was no answer.

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Why doesn't superman eat peanuts? Because he doesn't like them.

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A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender gives him a drink. The man walks out of the bar. He drives home and slaps his wife. Alcohol is destroying his marriage.

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Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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Once a upon a time there was a girl named Cinderella. She rubbed a magic lamp and a genie appeared. Then a guy named Larry Harry walks into a laundry mat. 7 days later she died.

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What is duke oxtoby? legend.

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9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

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How do you catch a predator? You throw a beartrap at a child.

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Whats black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

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Why does the cow eat grass? A: Because it's green. (Cows are colorblind)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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