What starts with P and ends with ORN? Popcorn! What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck! What starts with S and ends with EX? Spandex!

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what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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Why did timmy's face turn red? Early that morning Timmy was brutally attacked by the local street gang which proceeded to smack timmy's face with a baseball bat and smearing the blood with a dirty rag.

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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A horse walks into a bar. The owner promptly calls a local farmer to let him know that his horse has escaped again.

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What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

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if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

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A black guy, a jew, and an asian walk into a bar, have a beer each, and then leave, because they have high-paying jobs and don't want to risk getting DUIs.

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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What is the difference?

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Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

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Doctor! doctor! I feel like a bridge! That's the least of your problems you've got cancer by ndc

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a man makes a bad joke

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A dog run after a squirrel. the pursuit didn't last long the squirrel climb a tree.

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What did one muffin say to the other Muffin? Nothing, muffins have no method of communication in any way shape or form

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Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

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eh

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A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

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Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

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...and the rabbit says, "How 'bout that schnitzel!"

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Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

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Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

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What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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